Coachella-Your guide to avoiding heat stroke & Hipsters

Clearly the 2011 Coachella line up has been announced. I cant lie, Im a little underwhelmed.( Where is my QOTSA! Where is It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)!  That being said, I am now somewhat unsure if I want to attend. Surely you can justify laying down close to $300 to people watch , since music might not exactly be the main focus. Not to downplay the people watching Im sure it's a top shelf freak fest.

Should you choose to attend you may want to take some precautions. Two things come to mind that would personally be a legit worry for me . Heat stroke and Hipsters. Both will be running rampant. I have made a list of a few quick Do's & Don'ts to help ensure an enjoyable weekend.

AVOID THIS:
- Ray Bans
- Bangs
- Rompers of any kind
- High waisted shorts
- Vests
- Shoulder bags
- Skinny Jeans & Ballet flats
- Ballet Flats in general
- Clothing with small print flowers ( or any "Ironic Granny" print)...or Southwest print
- The color mustard yellow ( why? don't know, just seems that way)

***Should you choose to partake in any of these stylings you run the risk of a Hipster mistaking you for one of their own and striking up a conversion about how lame everything is.......Actually, lets be real  Hipsters are kinda assholes and would never talk to you.

AVOID THESE BANDS:

- Sleigh Bells

- Mumford & Sons

- Interpol

.... Just don't, it will be like Hipster bees drawn to Hipster honey. But- if you do and wonder why everyone looks soooooo bored, its normal. They will tell you they have " been into them for FOREVER" and "seen them like a million times now" so its like not that big of a deal. Don't let them fool you, they fuckin love it.

DO SEE THESE BANDS:

- Kings of Leon ( eh good enough, and this year you take what you can get)

- Duran Duran   ( Hipsters aside, just awesome)

- Kanye West     ( uhg I know but it will be all clear because Hipsters will probably pretend they have                 never heard of him)

**Wild Card** Black Keys ( now, if it were 2009 or before they would have been on my AVOID list but, they have a handfull of radio hits, been on SNL and by all hipster standards completely sold out. As a result most hipsters have completely disowned them and will be a no show...and in my humble opinion the best band on the bill)

OH, How to avoid heat stroke?  Drink Water. You'll be fine.

ENJOY!